May 24th, 2019
I'm all the way in Minnesota thousands of miles away from home in a small little college town trying to figure out how to make a dream come true. I'm done with football, done with school, trying to decide what's the next step. I making music, but me and my boy that I started it all with ain't speaking. I'm feeling isolated and a bit depressed. Life isn't bad, but it's not the life I envisioned for myself. I put out my first song and it only got like 400 plays. I was supposed to blow up over night I thought. Not really I knew it wouldn't be that easy, but still you always hope lol.
The funny thing is I'm actually pretty shy. Idk why I chose to be a music artist when it's hard for me to open up to people. I'm hella introverted lol. But hey I love music and it's what I want to do with my life so I have to learn to over come that right? The artist that I love do it so I do too. So I wrote this song. I wrote about what I was going through at the time. Being isolated and feeling down. Having this incredibly big dream that I feel like I'm destined for, and knowing that I have to fight to make it a reality. Which also adds to the depression because obviously it still ain't happened yet lol.
So I stared researching. If I'm gonna do this music stuff I have to figure out how to get my music in front of more people. I find Distrokid and sign up. For $19 a year I can make all my dreams come true. If I'm on Apple and Spotify people will have to take me seriously right? So I put it out… and it flopped. Triple cardboard lol. It has less than 1K plays to this day lol, but, thats not the point. It was real. That's the first time I ever tried to express myself publicly like that. I did it! I fought for my dream and wrote a song that was meaningful and real to me and put it out for the world to hear. If nothing else I can be proud of that.
This is “I Just Wanna” Honestly I don't hate it. I do cringe a little but it's more for the vocal performance. Luckily I've improved since then. The beat hits tho. I hope y'all Enjoy! LMK if I should keep it up or not.